Saturday, January 26, 2013

A Journey Begins Part 1

After a long nine months, it was now time, time for our baby to enter this world and our beautiful family. We couldn't be more excited. We had decided to name him Journey because while I was pregnant there were so many problems. We were told that he would have a genetic disorder and that it could possible be fatal. That didn't matter to Jeremy and I. It was my job to do my best to take care of this child and that was my only goal at this point.

When he was born they immediately took him. He wasn't breathing and had Pulmonary Hypertension. He has to be rushed down to the NICU where they could put him on oxygen. Of course I wasn't able to go with him since I has just given birth so Jeremy rushed with him. I have not been alone in nine months, I have always had my baby with, 2 minutes after giving birth, I am all alone and I wasn't sure what was going on with my baby boy.

I waited about an hour for them to find me a room. The hospital was very busy that day and I had the baby in the triage room. When they finally got me to a room the nurse wheeled me down to see by new born baby. He was beautiful. I was so in love. He was hooked up with oxygen and wires but I got to hold him for the first time for about a minute. I cried when I had to give him back.

Finally the doctor came over to talk. So overwhelmed by everything I tried so hard to listen and understand. Bottom line was, we had a very sick baby boy. He needed immediately to be rushed to Lebanon to get better care. I was so scared. What was I to tell people when they came to see the baby? At this point I didn't want any visitors. My two sister-in-laws, my nana and my brother was there to see the baby taken away by the transport team. I was a mess. I couldn't be discharged because I just gave birth so I couldn't go with him. After nine months with my baby, we were now a state away.

Jeremy and I went back to my room where  we ate lunch. Soon after that the nurse came in to tell me I had to move rooms, that they needed the room I was  in for a mom with a baby. She was very nice about it but I was hurt, I wish I had my baby. Instead of breast feeding, I was pumping and instead of taking care of my baby, I was reading all alone. This was awful. I couldn't wait to be with my baby. I just couldn't wait to hold him and kiss him.

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